


Unravel

by alitbitmoody



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Ghost Drifting, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Newton Geiszler Recovery Arc, Panic Attacks, Post-Drift (Pacific Rim), Post-Movie: Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018), Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 16:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16747609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alitbitmoody/pseuds/alitbitmoody
Summary: The first thing Newt did once he was alone was rip the chain off from around his neck.





	Unravel

The first thing he did once he was alone was rip the chain off from around his neck.  
  
Somewhat hyperbolic -- it wasn't a full chain, just a tacky collar pin the color of gun metal glimmering against a soaked black dress shirt like a razor in a pool of oil. It stared at him from the mirror above the sink and he grabbed it without thinking, flinging it away until it skittered off the tile floor.  
  
Newt's eyes rapidly picked out other details -- the large patches of blood down the front of his shirt, the sleek buttons that reminded him of the glass eyes in taxidermy birds, the patterned waist coat with grooves like the pores on half a dozen kaiju specimens that had made their way to his dissection table. His hands scrambled at them all, clawing and ripping, sending more things _pinging_ against the sink and floor, tearing silk and grey twill until it shredded loudly against the chilling silence of the empty bathroom. He didn't scream until he caught his reflection in the mirror and was confronted with his own skin, face, eyes...   
  
_Newton._  
  
He heard (felt) his name just before a set of determined knuckles rapped firmly on the door.  
  
"Newton? Ich komme."  
  
"Nein!" he replied, voice raw. A siren in his brain urged containment, choke off the contamination before it spread to Hermann or anyone else. "Alles ist in Ordnung! Mir geht's gut..."  
  
"Wirklich?"  
  
_NO. I'm not good. **I'm not.** I'm poison and I'm wearing garbage and there's too much room in my head and I want to scratch my skin off--!_  
  
The door opened with a slam, wood splintering, and the slim figure of his partner stood in the doorway, leaning shakily on his cane. The panicked expression on Hermann's face made a pit open up in Newt's stomach, venting a well of dread and shame that made him want to sink. He was a heel and a monster. He'd hurt Hermann and he deserved to drown as he'd done every day for almost ten years--  
  
_Newton, **stop.**_  
  
The voice in his head was calm, almost serene. And, just like that, he could feel all of his strings being cut at once, leaving him pliant and pleading. Hermann moved forward in two labored strides, catching him before he could fall.  
  
"...nein. Nein, bitte... Hermann, bitte. Tut mir leid. Tut mir _wirklich_ leid."

"Verstehe ich," Hermann whispered, lips at his temple, his brow. "Newton. Es ist okay. Ich verspreche es dir."

"Does anyone here speak... whatever they're speaking?!" Jake Pentecost sounded irritated.

"German. I do." Liwen Shao's voice was less irritated, more calm; weighted down with unfamiliar solemnity and tinged with what might have been sympathy, compassion, something else...

Hermann turned toward the open door, voice soft as he addressed Shao directly. "In meinem Büro gibt es Ersatzkleidung. Bringst du sie mir, bitte? Schnell?"

There was the sound of footsteps hurrying away, followed by more shouted arguments. Newt let the details of who and why fade into the background. He clung to his partner's waist, burying his face in the taller man's shoulder. A sudden gush of cold air from the lab made him abruptly aware of the degree to which he was exposed.

"Hast du die Tür aufgebrochen?!" he shivered.

"Vielleicht." _I'll bloody pay for it. They can take it out of my salary if I've still got one. Goddamn it, you're here. **You're here.** They can do whatever they want to me._

_**No they can't!** Also, I'm... kind of naked. Almost naked? Could we at least prop it up in the frame until Shao comes back?_

Hermann stepped back carefully, bracing against Newt as he reached behind them to tap the door with his cane, swinging on bent hinges until it left a sliver of cover that the others couldn't see through.

"Besser?"

Hermann's eyes were brown. Warm and glistening slightly. It had been both years and days since he had last seen them. Hermann's hands were cool and they were on his jaw and Newt felt a dam burst somewhere. Heat flooded his face and his eyes poured over.

"Ich dachte, ich hätte dich getötet..." his voice was shaking as the words threw him back to the awful moment when his hand had been around Hermann's throat; when he had pushed as hard as he could, still ensnared, to break the surface. To make it stop.

Hermann shook his head, gaze steadfast as he thumbed errant tears from his face left and right.

"No," he said, voice full of conviction. "You _stopped them_ from killing me. You fought them and you bought us the moment we needed to stop them. Thank you, Newton."  
  
Newt felt the floor below them turn liquid as he finally collapsed, leaning his face into his partner's neck. 

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [Avelera's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/avelera) [meta](https://avelera.tumblr.com/post/176994558730/first-image-from-the-art-book-dont-mind-me-as-i) on Newton Geiszler's costume design in _Uprising_ , which included, among other things, [a chain around his neck](http://pendragoff.tumblr.com/post/180456873812/newts-geiszler-im-sure-its-not-me-im-too) to signal his captivity.
> 
> My German is rusty and this ended up needing one more edit. All my thanks to [MnemonicMadness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MnemonicMadness/pseuds/MnemonicMadness) for the translations!
> 
>  **"Ich komme."** = "I'm coming."  
>  **"Nein! Alles ist in Ordnung. Mir geht's gut."** = "No! It's alright. I'm good."  
>  **"Wirklich?"** = "Really?"  
>  **"...nein. Nein, bitte... Hermann, bitte. Tut mir leid. Tut mir wirklich leid."** = "...no. No, please... Hermann, please. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."  
>  **"Verstehe ich. Newton. Es ist okay. Ich verspreche es dir."** = "I understand. Newton. It's okay. I promise you."  
>  **"In meinem Büro gibt es Ersatzkleidung. Bringst du sie mir, bitte? Schnell?"** =  
> "There are some extra clothes in my office. Will you bring them to me, please? Quickly?"  
>  **"Hast du die Tür aufgebrochen?!"** = "Did you break the door?!"  
>  **"Vielleicht."** = "Maybe."  
>  **"Ich dachte, ich hätte dich getötet..."** = "I thought I killed you."


End file.
